I’ve been thinking about rest and of the path of Right Effort - one of the Buddha’s eight-fold paths.
I’m sure you have had one of those days when there are so many events on your schedule, perhaps a holiday as well, and required appearances that you wonder - Wait! Where is time for “self-care” and honoring inner priorities?
Yesterday was such a day for me.
It was Mother’s Day. It was my birthday. It was my two sister’s birthdays. There was the annual Mother’s Day concert presented by a group I helped found performed by my piano teacher. There was a required class from 5 to 6:30 of my Mindfulness Meditation Teacher training program. I was presenting a 15 minute talk on Mindfulness of Emotions at that class. There was an early dinner to celebrate the concert.
And although the day was too full, something was missing. And the fact that something was missing was distorting my perception of everything else.
On Friday I rectified that. Taking my courage in hand (holding my breath), I invited my family to a zoom gathering to check in on the cluster of health situations, to celebrate multiple birthdays, and to share the joy of a recent wedding.
This is not about my busy Sunday. It’s about what I realized at the end of that day.
It wasn’t perfect. Someone at the concert lamented how Covid had changed our reception. No one supplied a non-alcoholic beverage for the reception so I spent part of the concert figuring out when I could run to the store next door for lemonade. I got a little stressed about the lemonade. I got more stressed about giving the talk in class later. And to top it all off, someone started to complain about the zoom meeting. Fortunately, that person caught themselves and bit back their criticism before letting it take shape. And I just took over and “led” the family zoom meeting to make sure all those involved in medical stuff were heard from, the newly weds had a chance to share, and all mothers - biological or otherwise - were honored.
At the end of the day, all I could remember was the bitten-back comment from the relative, getting stressed about the reception, my nervousness about the class presentation, all the ways my talk might be improved, and the anxiety about scheduling and leading the family gathering. Yammering voices. And I wondered was it worth it?
And then I had the revelation. Wow, everything that I wanted to get done got done! Yes, it had a few messy spots. But the structure of the day was perfect (!) because everything that needed to be honored got honored.
And suddenly I could see something I’ve said over and over to students. All the echoes of criticism or not doing enough were just old tapes in my head that got activated by one or another thought, comment, non-habitual action. And seeing all those voices of dissent trying to tear down a perfect day was freeing.
I have been overwhelmed with happiness and joy all day about my super-crowded Sunday with birthdays, Mother’s Day, May concert & dinner, class presentation, and family health check-in/birthday gathering.
The little carping voices all just shut up! At least for now…