“My mind is too wild,” people often say to me, “I can’t stop thinking.”
Mindfulness is not about stopping our thoughts, nor is it about blissing out. It’s waking up to what our experience actually is – noticing what the thoughts are that we can’t stop, noticing how our body feels sitting in a chair, noticing if we’re hungry or just anxious when we eat chocolate. Are our thoughts critical – of ourselves or others? Notice that. Are they sad in remembrance? Notice that. Are they fearful about a future that isn’t here? Notice that. We might begin to see that these are just thoughts – not some oracle from above and not something we manufactured and pushed out. Thoughts happen. Feelings happen. Bodily sensations happen.
Can we just be aware of that? Can we meet whatever is happening with awareness?
That’s mindfulness.
Recently I’ve been experiencing this new phenomenon called “Zoom Fatigue.” After an hour of being face to face with a few people or a group, paying attention to the computer screen full of faces - I call it “being impaled by the computer screen” - to discern expressions, understand what is being said, translate around frame freezes, wonky sound distortions, delays while people find their mute buttons, delays while I find the mute button, I find myself getting agitated. I need to get up, walk around, go outside, not look at the screen, check in with myself, go lie down, go meditate, …… anything but look at this screen one more minute, but the speaker is not finished and there is more to be said and …and…and…
And the challenge is this: can we be mindful of this phenomenon - as it is happening - in this moment. When it arises, what are our thoughts, our feelings, our bodily sensations? Where do we experience it in the body? There is much to learn about this explosion of zoom communication. It’s relatively new in our human experience. Is it the blue screen effect? Is it the lags and delays not present in normal face to face conversation? Is it the sense that we are being watched all the time? Ever try to eat something and then watch yourself chewing on the screen in full view of 20 other people?
And can we choose a different response? Some options include the following: Take the time to look down, look around, see the zoom screen in the context of your home surroundings, perhaps look at notes if that’s appropriate, but look away and check in with yourself. What’s happening here - internally? What are my thoughts? What feelings are arising? What and where am I experiencing this in my body?
Zoom may be the new phenomenon of this era. But mindfulness is as old as the hills (well, almost) and stronger than dirt! It’s been around, been proven, and exists as the gift all of our ancestors gave to us. Or perhaps mindfulness is beyond ancestry. It is a distinctly human birth right. As messy as it is to be a human being - and don’t we all know how messy that is - mindfulness is there like the north star is a guide to night travelers, the exact right ability to help us navigate these times, whatever they may throw at us - even zoom fatigue.
